Student mentally preparing to lie to family during Christmas break about having already watched Star Wars


Knowing full well that his entire family is going to be sick of each other within 48 hours of arriving at the log cabin that his dad rented for the holidays, 3rd year Ian Danes is mentally preparing himself to lie about having already watched Star Wars: The Last Jedi at the inevitable moment when someone suggests that they all go watch it as an excuse not to talk to each other for 2 glorious hours.

“I know my parents,” said Danes, “And they’re not gonna want to spend money on movie tickets if I’ve already watched it. If I want to ensure that we have a good excuse to get out of that fucking house and not have to listen to Michael Bublé’s Christmas album for the millionth time, I need to lie my ass off.”

At press time, Dane could be observed practicing facial expressions in his mirror in order to look genuinely surprised during the scene where Rey, Finn, and Kylo Ren engage in a fairly shocking three-way while BB-8 watches on.

MiscThe Crouton