The biggest, fakest news this week and all the gritty details brought to you by The Crouton's expert reporters.
Crowd of Sorority Girls Manages to Form Impassable Barrier Across Sidewalk
Sorority girls walking anywhere could provide a foundation for the technology behind the U.S.-Mexico border wall.
Mr. and Ms. GT Election yields a total of zero fucks given according to Electoral Commission
Literally no one but the candidates were shocked as the student body reveals it doesn't give even a single fuck about who is chosen to be Mr. and Ms. GT.
Inventor: My time machine should only be used for noble purposes Me: I wonder how many beanie babies it would fit... I: What? Me: What?
A message to all alpaca-owners: If you didn't name your alpaca Alpacino, you're doing it wrong don't deserve an alpaca