Sock-on-the-door Color Code and Response Guide

Following a series of misunderstandings in The Crouton’s staff house (located conveniently underground beneath a manhole cover at the corner of Marietta St and Means), The Crouton has decided to publish the following color-coded guide for the classic “sock-on-the-door” scenario, complete with recommended responses for the intruder in question.

We encourage you to print this list, laminate it, and keep it on your person at all times.