Last remaining FASET couple finally breaks up

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218 days after meeting during an icebreaker, Georgia Tech’s last remaining FASET couple from 2017 has finally broken up. The split was announced over twitter earlier this morning, with a failure to schedule a single coinciding class this semester cited as the primary reason for the development:

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At a press conference in the second floor lounge of Matheson/Perry Residence Hall, Clay spoke loudly so he could be heard over the sound of the icemaker behind him: “Despite having scheduled 5 out of 6 classes together last semester, we knew it was going to be a struggle to repeat that level of clinginess in the Spring. Nevertheless, we never expected that we wouldn’t be able to find even a single class where we could sit together in the front row and occasionally play footsie under the desks to let everyone know we were together.”

The announcement drew condolences and messages of support from Clay’s family and friends:

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Disclaimer: This is a work of satire. Neither the views expressed in this article nor The Crouton are officially associated with Georgia Tech.

 



 

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