Crouton citation in actual term paper indicates potential shortage of shits to give
The meme Caveney was originally tagged in.
The actual Works Cited portion of Meredith Caveney's paper. We've read the paper and it actually checks out.
Economists (not really, they’re just econ majors but they like to call themselves economists because they think they’re hot shit) have expressed concern that a potential campus shortage of shits to give (SHTS) could be incoming. The alarm bells began to go off at the Old CE building (We’ll bet $5 and the soul of our intern Jeremy that none of you knew econ was in that building) when it was discovered that Meredith Caveney, an electrical engineer, actually cited The Crouton as a source in a paper for one of her classes after getting tagged in a meme several months ago. Yes, this actually happened. We're not shitting you because, as we mentioned before, we have no shits to give.
Per our sources, The Crouton is a satirical website that was recently snubbed for a Pulitzer despite publishing some of the hardest hitting fake journalism in the state of Georgia. The fact that it was actually cited as a source in a term paper suggests that Tech students as a whole may be running out of shits to give (SHTS) with finals week now upon them. Econ major Greg Phillips told The Crouton that his models suggest that even more troubling trends on the horizon: “Meredith’s actions suggest that shits to give are running low, and the fact that this has happened so close to finals week leads me to believe that fucks to give (FUX) could be depleted as well. If the situation continues to deteriorate, we could even see a reduction in flying fucks to give (FF2G). Needless to say, we’re concerned.”
The Crouton’s own economists (two engineers that took Intro to Macroeconomics by accident) are predicting that there is an 80% chance that the well documented “Fucks Given Bubble," known by most economists as “The Fubble," which was at an all-time high in recent months, could burst as early as next Tuesday.
Disclaimer: While this article is satirical in nature, Meredith Caveney did, in fact, cite The Crouton in a term paper and has given us written consent to mention her by name in this article. We are making good on a promise made roughly 20 weeks ago to write an article about any student that actually cites us. Nice job Meredith. You the real MVP.
