T-Day Spring Game 2018: What to Watch For
The annual T-Day spring game will take place at 7:00 p.m. tonight, and our beloved Yellow Jackets will take the field for the first time since they assaulted our eyes with a 38-7 loss to eventual National Championship chokers Georgia. Here’s what you should be looking out for when the Ramblin’ Wreck returns to The Flats for one of the only games this season that won’t start in the middle of the goddamn day:
Boner Jokes
Our new defensive coordinator is called Nate Woody, so there’s going to be plenty of opportunities for signs with good boner jokes. Is it obvious? Yes. But is it necessary? Probably not. That being said, we fully expect to see a sign or two that says “This defense gives me a Woody” or “Andy’s mom has a toy called Woody too!”
More Fire
Yes, we get it, Fire Girl can twirl three flaming batons in a spectacularly dangerous manner while risking third degree burns. But can she do FOUR flaming batons? Maybe some flaming machetes instead? WHILE ON A UNICYCLE?! Fire Girl’s gonna have to step it up and do even more death defying stunts if she wants to step out of the shadow of Buzz’s surprisingly shapely legs.
Frank
I heard Frank is gonna be there and he might have a flask. Soooo… be on the lookout for Frank I guess.
Really confused foreign student soccer fans
A lot of foreign students will be in attendance to witness a football game and they’re gonna be confused as fuck when they see a few dozen 300 lb men beating the shit out of each other in a sport that in no way resembles the football they grew up watching.
Sarah is even more confused than the soccer fans
Wait so, if there’s a football game, that means there will be, like, a tailgate, right? But Sarah from Upsilon Gamma Gamma (Zeta Chapter) hasn’t heard where it is. She’ll be texting her friends all morning, wondering if she’ll be lucky enough to plaster her friends with “UGG ♥️’s the Jackets!” stickers, like a dog marking its territory. She has announced that she will be drinking bottomless mimosas in the morning, regardless of the tailgate status.
Softball
If you aren’t able to go to the game in person, Georgia Tech’s athletics department will be broadcasting a softball game for your viewing pleasure while you enjoy 4/20.
Disclaimer: This is a work of satire. The views reflected here are not associated with Georgia Tech.
