9 Things To Do During Summer If Nothing Else Panned Out
Studying abroad is too expensive, Summer classes are excruciating, and you’re not landing that Internship with that 1.6 GPA, so what is there to do over the summer? This isn’t high school, you can’t just goof around for three months. You’re an adult and you need to be productive with your time. Luckily for you we have ten ways you can use your time to really get the most out of your summer.
1. Reverse Airbud: In preparation for the new semester, you could really use something to kill time, and also build up some confidence. Go to one of those elitist rich people parks where they have sports for dogs, and just like Airbud infiltrated human sports, you can really get in there and dominate. This isn’t some vicious Michael Vick bloodbath that would surely kill you, it’s more like they toss a soccer ball and some goals around dogs and see what happens. Because they're too dumb to figure out the game, you can come on in and look like goddamn Cristiano Ronaldo compared to them.
2. Scam your Gram: Your grandmother is probably old and frail at this point, which means it’s time to pick up the phone and scam the shit out of her. Just act like you're selling some old people stuff and then you can coax a credit card number out of her within minutes. You don’t even have to disguise your voice, just tell her she was dreaming if she ever brings it up. This is definitely a lucrative summer job, and it looks great on a resume.
3. Join the Naked Chris Foundation™: This one is kinda only directed at you if your name is Chris, but much like the Make a Wish foundation, this organization makes a difference in the community. Now I never said that it was a positive difference. They actually do some stuff that wouldn’t even be socially acceptable if they were clothed. But hey, it’s a difference!
4. Reverse George P. Burdell: This follows the same vein as number ten, where you take a common story and do the reverse version of it. Here, instead of being a fake person who graduates college, be a real person who drops out of college. Maybe you also will become a part of Georgia Tech tradition and lore.
5. Study a Rod: While all your friends are posting their beautiful views in France, Italy and Australia on snapchat from their study abroad experiences, you can join in on the fun by writing a complex multi-thesis three page essay on comedian Rodney Dangerfield, former Twins infielder Rod Carew, or simply just a staff made of metal or wood. It may not be the best, but if you slur your words enough, it sounds like you had a life changing summer.
6. Rent a Baby: adoption can be one of the most rewarding experience a person can have, and can change the life of the adoptee forever. But you don’t have 18 years to spare, so you can settle for renting. In these three months, you can learn about the joys of parenting and have some real personal growth. Then when school starts back just toss it to a fire station or something.
7. Get your Waluigi on: I feared that this day would come. We don’t know what this means, but it’s power was too much to leave off this list. An activity like this is not for the living, but it sure as hell isn’t for the dead. Proceed with this option at your own risk.
8. Work at Olive Garden: Some of the options on this list may seem immoral, but none have the sheer apathy for human dignity that this option provides. To look at a customer in the eyes while serving the laziest, least authentic Italian food known to man in a decor that can only be described as if “divorced dad” was a restaurant theme proves that your psychopathic tendencies are more prevalent than ever. It’s a way to make money, but at what cost?
9. Attend classes you aren’t enrolled in and ask questions about frogs: You don’t want to take classes at Tech, but that doesn’t stop you from going into big lecture halls where the teacher doesn’t call roll and just start blasting him in the ass with frog questions. He’s just trying to teach his class about partial derivatives, and boom, you ask him about the average lifespan of a frog. It’s free, it’s productive, and it’s our number one thing to do between the Spring and Fall semesters at Georgia Tech.
