Buzz finally stings someone, promptly dies

Nov 6

Nov 6 Buzz finally stings someone, promptly dies

The Georgia Tech community is in mourning following Buzz’s fatal decision to finally sting someone. According to Buzz’s personal assistant, 2nd year Ana P. Hylaxis, Georgia Tech’s beloved mascot made the decision to finally unleash his ultimate weapon when he spied a high schooler touring the campus in a camouflage hoodie bearing the logo of the University (sic) of Georgia.

Buzz chose to strike just as the douche canoe in the “Dawgs” hoodie decided to turn his back to take a snarky picture on Skiles. In a surprisingly graceful move, Buzz sprinted at top speed (which, given he has the aerodynamics of a teletubby, isn’t particularly fast) at the offending student for approximately 20 feet, before launching himself into the air and twisting his body in order to hit the prospective student ass-first. The incredibly confused student was bowled over and Buzz promptly died, his mission in life finally completed.

Witnesses of the event described it as both “as horrifying as an 8 a.m. class after Thirsty Thursday” and “as magnificent as the KFC Double Down wrapped in a pizza.”

GTPD his calling this incident an "accident" and has decided that the seven eyewitness accounts, 36 tweets, 456 retweets, 19 pictures, and 3 videos uploaded to YouTube do not warrant a full investigation.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. The views expressed in this article do not reflect those of Georgia Tech. Buzz is alive and well as far as we know.