Approximately zero shits given about the First Year whose credits technically make him a sophomore

Approximately zero shits given about the First Year whose credits technically make him a sophomore

The Crouton
Academics

Another blissfully unaware freshman was overheard near Tech Green talking about the fact that he’s technically a sophomore due to his AP credits. Despite efforts each year from older classmates warning incumbent first years that  “No one cares if you’re a sophomore by credit," this all too common scenario occurs due to an unfortunate mixture of dual enrollment/and or overloading on AP credits with an unhealthy desire for peer validation.

The number of shits given, which starts at around 5 when the average student is just glad that the freshman he/she is talking to has a normal amount of credits and isn't too full of it, drops off significantly once the freshman becomes so full of sh…

The number of shits given, which starts at around 5 when the average student is just glad that the freshman he/she is talking to has a normal amount of credits and isn't too full of it, drops off significantly once the freshman becomes so full of shit that he/she crowds out the shits that anyone else might be able to give.

Painfully unaware of the disinterest of his peers, the new freshman continued, "And after this semester, I’ll be taking 3000 and 4000 level classes." The freshman might have been deterred had he been exposed to a study published in 2014 by Georgia Tech’s School of Psychology. The study found a strong negative correlation between the number of credits that a freshman starts off with and the number of shits that his peers have to give.

The study also found that at least 25% of the student population wouldn’t give a fuck* if a freshman’s AP credits made him a senior; a further 10% wouldn’t give a flying fuck* if a freshman came in with enough AP credits to literally obtain magical powers.

The Crouton reached out to FASET about whether they would consider including these statistics in their orientation materials but they have yet to respond.

 

*Worth approximately 1.29 shits given

**Worth approximately 1.85 shits given

 

 

Disclaimer: This article is a work of satire. None of the events described above occurred in real life. None of the opinions expressed reflect those of Georgia Tech.

 

 

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