1 year in: Things that The Crouton has somehow outlasted

On February 6, 2017, The Crouton was officially born when its first ever article was published here. It came into this world kicking, screaming, and with little logic to support its creation - much like the presidential aspirations of Donald Trump. Nevertheless, The Crouton has surpassed everyone’s wildest expectations and lasted an entire year. The following is a list of things that somehow didn’t have the staying power of Georgia Tech’s most legitimate source for fake news:

Secretary of Health and Human Services Tom Price

Started: February 10, 2017

Resigned: September 29, 2017

Tenure: 232 days or 0.63 Croutons

Chief Strategist Chief Bannon

Started: January 20, 2017

Departed: August 18, 2017

Tenure: 155 days or 0.42 Croutons

Ted Roof’s defensive plan against Georgia

Created: Two weeks before the game

Collapsed: After half-time

Existence: 2 weeks and half a football game

White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci

Started: July 25, 2017

Resigned: July 31, 2017

Tenure: 6 days or 0.02 Croutons

The optimism of a freshman

Started: August 20, 2017

Ended: First exam

Duration: 8 weeks, give or take

White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer

Started: January 20, 2017

Resigned: July 21, 2017

Tenure: 182 days or 0.49 Croutons

P.S. We miss you Spicey

Melissa McCarthy as Sean Spicer

Started: February 4, 2017

Ended: May 13, 2017

Duration: FOREVER. That shit will never die. 

The bagel I just found under a lot of random shit in the bottom of my backpack

Purchased: January 29, 2018

Started growing mold: February 5, 2018

Time during which it was more or less edible, even if you’re sober: 7 days or 0.02 Croutons

White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus

Started: January 20, 2017

Resigned: July 31, 2017

Tenure: 192 days or 0.53 Croutons

White House Communications Director Mike Dubke (y’all probably don’t even remember this one)

Started: March 6, 2017

Resigned: May 30, 2017

Tenure: 85 days or 0.23 Croutons

Ashley’s “Dry January” resolution

Started: January 2, 2018 because she really needed a Bloody Mary on January 1st

Ended: January 3, 2018 because you can’t just skip Wine Wednesdays

Duration: About a million times longer than her boyfriend in bed (because fuck you Brad)

National Security Advisor Michael Flynn

Started: January 20, 2017

Resigned: February 13, 2017

Tenure: 25 days or 0.07 Croutons